Finding Solace
by Kushina Hatake
Summary: One shot about Sirius and Lily talking about their families and how similar they are. Sorry I'm too bad at summaries. It's been long since I've actually written something so it might not be so good. Please do read and review. Hate is also welcome :).


It was past midnight now. The boys in the dorm were all fast asleep except for one particular Marauder. Sirius Black's grey eyes scanned the already dark room looking for any means of entertainment for as he was sleep deprived. On other days, he would have gone out and pranked some of the Slytherins but ever since his mother had burnt him off the family tree, he always played on the safer side. He didn't want any more fights with his brother Regulus and just hoped he wouldn't become one of the death eaters.

He would've woken up James, Remus or Peter. But the full moon was just in a few days and the boys needed their rest. Sirius was always the prankster who couldn't sit at one place for longer than an hour. Lying still on his bed was very difficult for him at the moment. All the caffeine he had consumed was definitely having a bad effect on him. He made a mental note to go without coffee for at least a week. After a lot of tossing and turning, he finally decided to go down to the Gryffindor Common Room. He wore his classic black hoodie and slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants and hopped down the stairs, whistling incoherently.

Sirius walked over to the couch near the fireplace and placed a few logs of wood. He watched intently for a few minutes as the fire crackled right in front of his face, completely oblivious to the redhead standing near the window coolly sipping onto a mug of hot chocolate.

"Hey," said Lily as so to gain his attention. Sirius made a small noise and jumped slightly. Lily merely laughed to see the Marauder in such a state. Sirius was always the one making weird noises and getting Lily to scream in between classes and during meals. Although James always gave Sirius a death stare, Sirius thoroughly enjoyed getting Lily to scream. For the first time, Lily had taken her revenge and the idea of that to her was almost..empowering.

"Never do that," he breathed trying to regain his composure. Lily smiled and sat beside him near the fireplace. Sirius leaned his back towards the cold stone wall and watched as Lily did the same.

"So...," Lily tried to begin the conversation. She never began conversations with people unless absolutely necessary. "What has been keeping the busy Marauder awake?"

"Just family and stuff. I'll be over this soon enough," he said pulling his wand out of his pocket and making small patterns of silver as though the air were his canvas. ''You?"

"Same," said Lily pulling out her wand, placing the mug by the side and making patterns like Sirius. "You can talk to me you know, if you want to"

"Everything's falling apart and I just don't know what to do. I got a letter from mother recently. She's burnt me off our family tree. I acted like it didn't hurt but inside it was killing me. Just because I think differently, they no longer consider me a part of their family and it hurts. I don't want my brother to be going along with those to-be-death eaters. I even suspect Bellatrix already has the mark on her hand.

"Besides all this, it's Remus. His furry little problem brings down his hopes. Thinks he is worthless and all. He thinks he won't get a job if his co-workers comes to know about all of this. He looks happy doesn't he?"

Sirius took a pause and chuckled. He stopped making those little patterns a few minutes ago but now he placed his wand on the cold stone floor and stretched his legs. Lily understood just how he was feeling. He took a deep breath and began to continue.

"It's scary thinking about Peter. He's always like the small squeaky one in the group and always looks around for one of us to come to his aid. Not like I mind it. But when we're out facing the war it's not like we can always be there for him. He manages to do a few spells but it isn't anything in front of the Slytherins, let alone the well trained death eaters.

"And then James," said Sirius looking at Lily trying to find something, some sort of sign.

"What about James, Sirius?'' she asked turning slightly to face him.

This was what Sirius needed. He smiled knowingly and made a mental note to already start preparing for his best man speech.

"Well, I know James is hurting. But I don't know what to do to make things better for him. It must be a lot of pressure on him. Being Quidditch captain and all that. The teachers expect a lot from the captains. James needs to do well in his studies so that he isn't striped off his captaincy. He also has concerns for the other Marauders and I know we're breaking him more than we could ever imagine. But then he acts all happy and cheerful, sometimes I forget he's hurting. I've never been good with feelings and I really don't know how to help him or Remus or Peter or even myself. I just don't know anymore."

Lily didn't know what to say. She simply placed a hand over his hand and smiled at her. Sometimes she felt that Sirius was the male version of herself. Both had family issues and friends who were hurting. Yet, the two never failed to cheer everyone up. The both of them were always the ones with the good vibes apart from Remus.

"I've just been talking about myself. What's going on with you then?" Sirius asked after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"Well..it's just that I'm muggleborn. I don't fit in the wizarding world because of that. All the Slytherins despise me and Voldemort. They're all behind muggleborns right? I wouldn't even care if they captured me and tortured me. But I don't want them to harm my family. They're innocent and everyday is like a battle I fight with myself. Praying to all the gods I've ever heard of to keep my family safe and happy. I don't even fit in the Muggle world. I'm different from all of them and my sister hates me.

"It's like I'm hanging in between these two worlds not knowing how to manage myself and not knowing where to place myself. Prefect duties and all of that gets really hard. I've got to do my studying as well. It's like a heavy weight has been placed on my shoulder and I have to keep moving but it's hard and I don't know when I will be able to lift it off my shoulders."

"Well you know Lily, you are one of the most intelligent witches in the entire history of Hogwarts. Even if you never studied for a test, you wouldn't fail. And you're pretty and all. It gets better they say," Sirius said trying to empathise with Lily.

They sat silently for a while both pondering on the new information they'd just gained.

"Being Muggleborn or Pureblood seems to have its effects on both of us," Sirius said chuckling slightly.

"Irony," Lily remarked.


End file.
